For the longest time I struggled with the idea of making up my mind for what I truly wanted in life. What held me back was the thought that my decision was permanent. I don’t know where that idea came from, but it colored my every thought.
The What-Ifs took on a life of their own and filled my mind with doubt…
“What if I make the wrong decision?”
“What if I fail?”
“What if I make a fool of myself?”
All those “What If’s” kept me paralyzed from taking a leap of faith. As a result I stayed stuck in my comfort zone for years never deciding what I wanted. This indecision not only kept me stuck, it caused me to not live true to my values. It caused me to give up my boundaries and most importantly, I lost who I was in the process.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but the moment I lost who I was at my core was the moment I started losing my “Happy.”
When I lost my “Happy” I started becoming more and more quiet. I had fewer authentic conversations. I felt like a sham. I didn’t want others to know what was going on on the inside of me, so I locked my feelings up inside of me.
It was such a lonely time. I felt more and more alone. I was sure that I was the only one going through this type of situation. My thoughts went inward. I kept thinking, “What’s wrong with me? Everybody but me knows what they want while they are here on this Earth. Why don’t I know what I want?”
I headed off to the local bookstore. When I got to the self-help section I realized I wasn’t alone. There were many books on this very topic. In fact, there were so many I couldn't decide which book to purchase to help start me on my journey to find what I wanted. I must have spent hours in the bookstore looking over this large selection before I finally chose one.
It was interesting the effect seeing so many books on this topic had on me. I finally realized I really wasn’t alone. It was so freeing. Of course, I still didn’t know what I really wanted, but I did now know that I was not alone in this quest.
If you have read this far, and you are unable to make up your mind for what you want, you now also know you are not alone. This is a far more common problem than you know.
But, now that you know, if you want to start on your journey to knowing what you really want out of life, here are some tips to get you started.
- Make a list of your values and notice which ones you’re currently dishonoring.
- Make a list of the negatives you no longer want in your life and rephrase them as positives. For example, “I hide how I feel,” becomes “I am open and honest with those I love.”
- Know that your decision is not permanent; you can always change your mind.
- Take action on the things you do want and notice what you learned.
Can you relate to this topic? I’d love to hear from you so please share your comments, concerns and questions in the section below. If you prefer, you can email your private questions to me directly at Info@Frustration2Fulfillment.com. I’m here to help.
If you want to know more about any of these steps or you would like to share your thoughts send me an email. I’ll be happy to respond.
If you know someone who can benefit from this information feel free to give out my website address to them, http://frustration2fulfillment.com.
Here’s to your best life!
Curt Gorlick, The Life Choice Strategist